Great Lengths: Letting Go of My Daughter’s Hair

When Adam Cherepski’s six-year-old asked to get her hair drastically cut, he begged her to change her mind—until he heard the reason why.

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If a child is given love, she becomes loving… If she’s helped when she needs help, she becomes helpful. And if she has been truly valued at home… she grows up secure enough to look beyond herself to the welfare of others.
—Dr. Joyce Brothers

Our children never cease to amaze us. This is true in so many ways. Whether it be the time when they decide to jump off the diving board without floaties, when they are inconsolable to the point of hysteria because of the possibility of a fly landing on them, or when they can tell when we, as parents, are not having the best day and they know that a hug can turn that around better than anything. I am in awe every day at some of the simplest of things because they come from my children. I have written about numerous hilarious occurrences with my children, and I will continue to do so. After all, it is this joy that children bring to our lives.

This instance, however, will do more for others than it did for me and my wife. My daughter, Anna, has some of the most beautiful hair I have ever seen on a child of her age. She gets it from her mother—not to say that my hair is not gorgeous and could be the subject of many fine hair product advertisements—but, alas I must give credit where it is due. In fact, people often walk up to us and compliment her hair, and then continuing on their way. In her short 6 years, we have barely had the nerve to cut much of it. It was as if the hair had a power all its own, and that if we cut too much it would be a betrayal similar to that of Delilah. Yes, it is extremely difficult to take care of—I actually think that our high water bill is a direct result of the amount of time it takes to fully rinse it out at bath time. Then there are the knots and the tears… oh, the knots and tears. Not to mention trying to get all that hair into a ponytail while constantly struggling with what can only be described as a smidge of OCD.

So, you can imagine our surprise when Anna came to us and asked if she could cut her beautiful locks. It was as if she asked us if she could get a face tattoo. We pleaded with her. We bargained with her. We pointed out pros and cons… to a 6-year-old, mind you. We did everything we could think of to convince her to keep her hair, but mostly our efforts were a little selfish in nature. I felt like the crazy old lady that kept Rapunzel locked in the tower.

And then came the time for our daughter to put us in our place… as schmucks.

“Anna, why do you want to cut your hair? It is so beautiful.”

“So I can donate it.”

I was not aware that the feelings of pride and shame could both be felt so strongly at the same time. The courage and generosity that my daughter exhibited in this moment of clarity only compounded my feelings of fear and selfishness. We were truly in awe. We knew that this was one of those moments that every parent dreams of… a moment that takes us aback and gives us perspective. Our young daughter was putting others before herself, and as far as I am concerned, that is what any parent wants for their child.

We did our research and deduced that Anna had more than enough hair to fulfill the donation requirements. My wife took her to the little kid salon, and they cut 8 inches. People watched as this little girl cut off more than half her beautiful hair, with a smile on her face. They watched as she held up the locks after it was over. They watched as she had her picture taken and received her certificate of appreciation. They watched with a new perspective.

Cancer has touched our lives recently, as it has for a lot of people. Every night we pray as a family for those that we know who may need a little extra from above. We mention some by name. Some of these friends we have prayed for have lost their battle, and others are still fighting. It is humbling to know that my daughter is making a difference in someone’s life… someone she does not even know.

Our friends and family have said how the new haircut makes Anna look like a big girl, but I think it is the decision that she made that truly means she is one. Great Lengths: Letting Go of My Daughter’s Hair